3rd January 2007

9:01am: She's my Pollita!!!!
I'm pretty bored. My mom woke me up at 9 o'clock in the fucking morning after i fell asleep at 5 in the morning. I'm so tired right now and i can't fall back asleep. I'm waiting for her to wake up so I can talk to her. I hate when she sleeps because there's no way of contacting her. Grrrr.
Oh well, I guess I'll just bite my tongue and hold my breath until she calls...
Current Mood: anxious

2nd January 2007

12:08am: I'm such an idiot. I can't believe all of this is happening to me. It's all my fault. I feel like smashing my face into my fucking floor until I slowly fall asleep because that's the only way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. Denise and I are in love. We really are. But sometimes, things go a little bit wrong. And today was one of those days. I can't stop crying. I made her feel like shit today and I didn't mean to. I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. She says she's still in love with me, and I believe her. But it's kind of hard to because of the way she's acting towards me. I still love her with all my heart and this is really killing me inside. I just don't want to lose her. I really don't...
Worst way to start your new year.
I thought this year would be different...
Current Mood: sad

31st December 2006

3:24pm: Yeah...
"Lets leave this place and say that we escaped
We'll say that there's no difference between right and wrong tonight
We'll leave no trace of plans that we have made
So they can't find us and take what is ours."

This song is so amazing. It makes me think of her. We had a huge talk today about something important. It started off pretty bad, but ended with great results. I feel so much closer to her now. She's so amazing to me. She won't do anything without letting me know and seeing what I think about it. That's love to me. I know she loves me and she knows I love her. Today she promised me something that I was very afraid of. She's the most amazing girl on the face of the earth.

Endless dedication... My gift to you.
I love her.
Current Mood: weird

29th December 2006

5:09pm: This Sucks...
Ok... I just had my first argument with Denise since a while ago and it sucked. It was mainly my fault because I chose something stupid to argue over, but she didn't have to carry it out the way she did. The worst part is that she is telling me that we should break up. If you really loved a person would you tell them "Maybe we shouldn't be doing this... Us". It really hurts right now and I don't know what to do. It's up to her right now. I just hope she makes the right decision because I love her. She's my everything. I don't want to lose her. I'm so stupid, I just messed up the best thing I had going for me. I feel like an idiot...
Current Mood: gloomy
12:18am: I got this from Denise.
01. List 10 things that you want to say to 10 people.

02. Don't say who they are.

03. Never discuss it again.

1. We are seperating now and it sucks. You were my best friend ever since the day that I met you. I miss the jokes we used to have over the dumbest things. I miss our Falcons-Eagles rivalry Madden game. I miss going to your house every other day. I've tried to get back in touch with you but it never seems to work. I love you. Don't be a stranger.

2. I can't believe we've made it this far. I've known you since I was practically born and it's amazing that we still talk to each other the way we do. I haven't seen you for a while now, but I still talk to you on the phone. You beat me to the 360 punch, but it's ok. I hope we never lose touch. I can safely say that you are my best friend.

3. I hate you so much. You treat me like shit. I deserve to be treated at least a little better than what you treat me. It was fucking Christmas and you still decide to treat me like a piece of shit. But it's all good because one day you are going to make me snap. Just wait and see...

4. Even though you cheat at our game, even though you tell me "I'll talk to you later" just a little too much, and even though my mom fucking hates you, I still love you more than anything. You have , literally, kept me alive through the roughest of times and I don't think I'll ever give you enough thanks for that. You are amazing and I will never stop loving you. You are my Shipoopi, and I'll never forget that.

5. I think you were my only true friend in Miami High, until we just stopped talking. I miss the nights on the phone, the notebook of letters, and the Italian classes we used to share. My freshman year was unforgettable mainly because of you, but I don't think I'll ever be able to just walk up to you and tell you. You'll probably think it' a joke. We tried again this year, but that didn't work out either. I guess we were never meant to be friends. Good Luck.

6. You were one of the first people I saw when I came into this world. You were there for my 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and so on until my last birthday. You will always be there for me and I love you for that. We've had a lot of rough times in the shithole we live in. I probably won't go anywhere with my life. But I know you will make something out of yourself. I love how you're so determined with the things that you do. I know you care about me as much as I care about you. I love you.

7. You were there for my birth. You cared for me until i was 3 years old. then you just left. I will never understand why, and I don't think I want to understand. All I know is that I love you for the person that you are, but I hate what you have done to me and my family. I don't think any of us deserved everything that you did. Because of you, I don't even see my little sister. Everything that has gone wrong in my life is your fault. I hate you with every inch of me. But I will always love you for who you are.

8. I hate how you tell me you love me and you just wish I was happy, but then you turn around and talk shit when I'm not there. I would think you would want me to be happy, not what's in your best interest. Don't tell me what I should do anymore. I know what I want. Just support my decisions and be happy for me. It shouldn't be too hard if you really are my "best friend".

9. Our relationship is pretty straight forward. I think you are not too trustworthy. I love you because I think everything you've done is to try to help me, but I honestly wouldn't trust you with a pencil I let you borrow. You, also, need to stop telling me that I'm wrong. I know what I want. Leave me alone and let me live my life. Honestly, I couldn't care less if I never talk to you again. Go to school and make something out of yourself.

10. I think you are the unsung hero of my life. I barely ever see or talk to you. But whenever I do, I feel so happy. I think that, without noticing, you have helped me get throuh alot of things in my life. I wish you didn't live so far so I could talk to you more often. We laugh at the dumbest things sometimes. Late nights telling jokes and uncontrollable laughter. The good old days...
Current Mood: relieved

28th December 2006

9:29pm: First one...
This is my first entry in LiveJournal, so i really have nothing to write about. I figured I would just sit here and write about my incredible girlfriend, Denise. This girl is just so amazing. I was talking to her yesterday and she told me that she would give me her 1200$ guitar!!! I don't know about you, but that's the best thing ever. She's very humble, but she's the greatest thing thats ever happened to me, and I want to marry this girl. She's watching "How to eat fried worms" right now. She said she would call me back, and I can't wait until she does. We can play 20 questions. I love her more than anything. She's my everything. I think she knows it :)
That's enough for now.
To be continued...
Current Mood: thankful
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29th March 2007

2:21pm: I'm gone...
Ive had a great time, but I couldn't cut this out. I make her so fucking miserable, and I never mean to. She'll be happier when I do this. I know it.
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